today's fathers day, and when i was in church, i was thinking about the things my dad has done for me since i took my first breath.
my dad's such an important person to me. even though sometimes(like other teens out there) i feel like i totally despise both my parents, but really i do love them. hes been there for me since i was a baby..whenever my mom wouldnt be there because she's at work or she would have to run a couple of errands, my dad would take over as the mom, which was how it was the first time. he was always the one with comic relief, the one to make us all laugh. he was the one with the warm hugs, the funny words, you name it, he has it. he's the one who gave me the slap of reality..always reminding me about the good things in life.
then i thought about my grandpa.
every fathers day before he died, we'd go to his favorite restaurant. he'd always have that smile on his face, excited to go. my mom would laugh at him for acting like such a kid at 80 years old. my father, my grandfather and i would always pig out there, and find out who could eat the most. obviously, my grandpa won. my grandpa was such a nice man. he taught me the important things in life. he always has something funny to say. he always has money for me if i desperately need it and my parents dont have the money(not that i go to him all the time lol). but he taught me one important aspect of life:
Nothing lasts forever in life.
the morning i found out he passed away was just mind-blowing for me. i still remember it like it was yesterday..
it was late october, almost homecoming my freshman year. i woke up at around 730, wondering why my mom didnt yell at me to wake up at 6 like she usually does. i went to my parents room, and i saw her face. tear streaked, sleeping. "am i going to school today?" "no. papa died this morning." and boom. emotions just started rushing in..i called up the rotc room and i was talking to some friends about it before school started..and that whole day just seemed to drag on and on and on and on...
im going to stop here, because this is too emotional for me to carry on. it's been more than 2 years since my granpa has passed away. i think its going to be 3 years this coming october. this summer im going back to the philippines to go visit my relatives, and to visit the cemetery where my grandpa now sleeps.
im still not fully recovered from his passing. songs that talk about loved ones, i still cry to..the song our family dedicated to him, i can never listen to it again..and if i ever did, i would cry..
if my dad ever died while im in this changing stage of my life..i dont know what i would do. i'd probably break down, and not know what to do. i'd be so lost in the dark..
so, to all of you people that hate ur fathers..dont say that..if any of this meant anything to you
You don't really know what you had until it's gone. | 
